why I smile

because coffee and cream is such a perfect combination

because our golf team beat our 4-score high school record

because homework doesn't seem so cruel

because Turtle likes my handwriting

because the mail came and Grace wrote me back

because gym class is actually a gym class

because of hotheaded debate

because clouds and trees and leaves are lovely

because I saw a beaver, and a beaver's tail

because Orion's belt is showing up everywhere

because I used the word "sevenfold"

because quizzing practice is lovely

because math is back to numbers

because I cannot wait until college:)

I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then

Title quote: Lewis Carroll

I love the feeling of entering a book and becoming the main character. I cannot not do it. (Pardon my double negative) And when the book is finished, there is always that part of the character that lives on in me, or that I strive to be. Different books make me want to be different people for different reasons. And I made a list of them because in the darkness of night, where it was difficult to sleep, there was nothing else to do:

Lucy: for faith
Vin: for the metals
Kat: for the deadline
Bertie: for her words
Susan: for her beauty
Percy: for the water
Alice: for the rabbit
Katniss: for Peeta
Mary: for the garden
Annika: for the horse
Ariel: for the wind
Annabeth: for the wisdom
Cammi: for observance
Anna: for Rupert
Debbie: for the thought

Do you like my list? Do you have a list of your own?

regular

I sit with my regular cup of coffee. Which means I will be able to stay awake and do my homework-and write this. But it also means I will have difficulties falling asleep, which I desperately need. Somehow, I think I will get through it and find what it takes to wake up the next morning.

Did you know that the world is beautiful? I knew it, but my eyes were re-opened today. I was outside for my gym class, and all the regular stuff started to seem extraordinary when I looked at it from a different perspective. Instead of complaining of the mild heat, I concentrated on how the sun felt on my arms and face. I felt the power in the sun. And then when a cool breeze came by, I didn't feel relieved because there was nothing to make me want to be relieved. Are you following? It just felt nice. Not relieving. Just nice. Then I saw an eagle flying above the tennis courts. I watched it as it soared for a while, but then almost got hit in the face with a tennis ball, so I turned my attention to that.

My teacher in my last class spent fifteen minutes talking to us about her two girls getting married soon. I sighed. Not only was I getting an entertaining story, but we were getting out of going over our homework!

At golf practice, everyone seemed a whole lot cheerier. I don't even know if that is a word. But I just made it if it isn't. I was hitting the balls straight, and we had a friendly verbal fight with the boys' golf team when they tried to take over our putting green:).

I talked to my cousin for about an hour: 45 minutes longer than we should have. I don't even remember what exactly it was that we talked about. I just remembered I missed her, and it was wonderful to hear her voice instead of pretending what it would sound like over our emails. We ended the call with me promising to make her chocolate milk:p

We had our first quizzing practice, and when there were no seats left, I sat on the garbage can, pretending to be funny. I had the two best ham and cheese sandwiches for supper, and then we went to church.

Our youth group was planned outside today. Mostly all we do is hang out because the church still considers it "summer". Turtle's friend sits on the seat of her bike as I stand on the pedals, and we ride together until my arms get sore and her hamstrings start to resist. Then I saw the coolest car in the parking lot with a left over gashing scar from an accident I didn't hear about.

We drive home in our own suburban and I turned up the music to an oldie that I love. We rolled down the windows and I stuck my hands out, stretching at first, but then deciding to reach out to the stars. I close my eyes and breathe in as I pretend I am in a movie: one of my many quirks. I open my eyes, and I am still in my film. Singing, and trying to locate Orion's belt.

I am so happy.
I could never be better.
I cannot wait for tomorrow, and the many days ahead of me.
I love the little things, and I realize God gave us a wonderful picture each day as the sun rises and the birds chirp, and even as the teachers assign homework.
I don't feel like I'm dragging anymore.
I feel like I have gotten my life back together.
I feel like I'm flying, but it sounds so cliché.
Whatever - I hate corny, but that's all I can do.
My Senior year has finally begun.

~The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time~

-by Mark Haddon

Good:
-British:)
-Interesting plot
-Different

Bad:
-Not well written
-Swearing
-Overall morals

I really didn't like it. I don't think I like any books the school assigns for us. Maybe I was a little biased, but even if I wasn't, I wouldn't have not liked it this much.

Putting aside everything I disliked about it, it was very interesting. The main character is very math-oriented, and gives details for everything. It helps you draw a picture in your mind what he was seeing. The fact that the main character was Autistic was also very different. You actually understand why he reacts to different things the way he does when you read his perspective on things. It was actually very logical. But I still didn't like it.

Everyone in my class thought it was good, though. I was the only one who did not. I told them they don't read good books. They laughed. Haha. Twilight doesn't count.

And, no. The picture is not upside down.

update

Other than school starting, getting a new family computer, and putting up a countdown to Mockingjay on facebook, nothing much has been happening. We have a family reunion tomorrow, and I am excited to see everyone! I cannot wait!

The lack of the old family computer has kept me from posting these last couple days, but we have our new own now. Really, it's just a new server or something, not a whole computer, but I don't know much about those things. I just call it a new computer because it looks all different and fancy:).

I am very happy with my last schedule in high school. I had some re-arrangements to make in it, however, because of some class difficulties, but now everything is fine. I believe that was the longest week of my life.

I felt so awesome the other day! I was reading a book in gym class (the first couple days we never do anything or even change for that matter) and I was using a leaf for a bookmark. The kid next to me said it was creative, and I just felt awesome. I guess it was kind of creative...

~Mere Christianity~

-by C.S. Lewis

Well ... this one has been on my to-read list for more than a year now. I picked it up a while ago, but I was just reading it to finish it, and I couldn't get through it. It was ... difficult, a year ago. Now, when I picked it up on the way to our family vacation, I was so interested at the way he put things! I want to say I couldn't put it down, but I could, so I'm not going to say that.

There isn't any easy way to put it, you just have to read it. If it may be a bit difficult to read, or if you find yourself spacing out (as I found myself doing a couple of times), just start over and read the last paragraph again. It makes absolute sense, I promise you.

One of the things I will do now is recommend this book not only to my Christian friends, but my non-Christian friends as well. If they can get past the title, and read it with an open mind, it would do such a better job than I could at explaining things. (Because, as you know, I'm not very good at that.)

"Momma"

The first day of school and I already noticed a crazy theory...

Mrs. A. (but a different one from last time) English.

We were talking about how in our summer read, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, the main character calls his father and mother, "Father and Mother". First of all, they didn't take into account that the book was written by a British schoolboy, and that the way they address their parents is bound to be different from the way we talk to them here in America. Secondly, my teacher says:

"I just can't see, like, how you could, like, have a close relationship with someone you called "Mother".

Hmm...

Do you agree?

My progression: Around age 3, "Mommy", around age 12, "Mom", around age 16, "Momma". Although sometimes the "Mommy" just slips out;)

~Alex Rider: Stormbreaker~

-by Anthony Horowitz

The first time I was introduced to this story line and Alex Rider was a couple years ago at my cousins' house when they had us watch the movie. I loved it! I mean, who doesn't love spy movies and cute actors?

I had been meaning to read the book a lot sooner, but I didn't get to finish it until about a week ago. I was very surprised at how much the movie and the book were alike. That was my only problem with it, though. It felt like I had read the book before, even though I had only seen the movie. In my opinion, I thought the movie did a great job, and might even be better than the book. But that is coming from someone who saw the movie first, and then read the book. I can't tell you how it feels from the other way round.

soft spot

Is your mouth watering?

Well, these marshmallow-centered, and chocolate covered truffles were actually very disgusting. So much for trying out a new recipe. I was hoping it would go swimmingly. Unfortunately, I'm left with a to-sweet taste in my mouth and sticky fingers.

At least they look nice...

goals and goals

I had a list of summer goals to get accomplished this summer. I've gotten a pretty good amount of them done, but there are still a lot lingering to get finished. Now with only a week left of summer, I doubt I will get even half of the remaining done.

But I am still very proud of myself. I never ever create goals. Like write-them-down goals. Sure I have goals in my head that I just don't talk about, and just know that they are goals. But I never have written them down. Something about it makes it official. And official, cannot-be-changed things scare me.

So that is one thing that is changing in my non-procrastinating year of high school. Goals and goals and schedules. I am organizing myself.

One of my goals was to laugh at dumb commercials. It's a pretty dumb goal, but it is great to laugh when no one else is laughing. And, you have to admit, some of the commercials you want to laugh at, but don't because they are just really dumb. Well, I laughed at all those, and boy, did my stomach hurt. But anyway, there is this commercial for a computer program or something, and I thought it was the greatest thing ever. It ties along with my whole "organizing myself" mindset, so I thought I'd give you the link so you know what commercial I'm talking about. here.

Laugh. It's really fun.

To Be Done:
-Notice things
-Learn big words
-Play solitaire
-Run in the rain
-See Ramona and Beezus
-Read Mockingjay (which won't be able to happen until after school has started)
-Find an adventure

living for deadlines

I'm just going to come out and say it: I have a procrastination problem. I wait until the last minute, and then finish things frantically. Sometimes (speaking on homework) things turn out fine, and I get by with nothing but bruises. Other times I get cut and have C's staring me down.

More recently, I've been thinking about this problem. And I figured something out. Procrastination is just a fancy work for Laziness. It sounds nicer, and more like a condition rather than a habit. Something that needs to be cured and treated, rather than something that could just be kicked to the curb. And I plan on kicking it to the curb. No slow withdrawal. I'm just going to rip the band-aide off. It will sting at first, but hopefully - scratch that - it will prove to be for the better.

I used to have this motto, or saying, or whatever you call it: "Procrastinators have more fun." I realized that in the long run, they don't. Everything gets messed up when you wait until the last minute.

Switchfoot speaks my thoughts:

Last week found me living for nothing but deadlines,
With my dead beat sky but, this town doesn't look the same tonight,
These dreams started singing to me out of nowhere,
And in all my life I don't know that I ever felt so alive,
Alive.

...

I want to wake up kicking and screaming,
I want to wake up kicking and screaming,
I want to know that my heart's still beating,
It's beating,
I'm bleeding.

-Awakening

This summer has been very, well, awakening. I feel alive. And I don't want to loose this feeling.

I planned on making this summer the best summer of my life. Now, I plan on making this school year the best year of my life.

Michigan

So our family vacation is over, and I can proudly say that I skied! I cannot say, however, that I could stay up. I got up, but it was so wobbly, and I kept on loosing my balance. If only I didn't wait until the last day to try it, I would have had more time to practice. Unfortunately, my aunt has all the pictures of me skiing, so I have no proof until she loads them up. Until then, you will just have to trust me.

Some pictures from Michigan:

My sister, Turtle, and two cousins, Elise, and Ann, sitting on the edge of the dock.

And their feet

She calls me her "bestest cousin": Grace

Turtle is such a ham. Just ask her who skied first. Yeah, she did. I'm just happy that I tried.

Couldn't pass up this pic.

The boat:

To all: face your fears. It's worth it.