if you act stupid to attract boys, you'll attract stupid boys

'nuff said.

finishing and beginning are about the same

She threatened she was going to take it back to college with her. And I frantically started reading it becuase I wanted to finish it before she left. I went to school the next day, and when I came home, she had already gone.

But the book, Crazy Love, was where I left it the previous night. On the counter with my fraying book mark sticking out both ends. Maybe she left it for me because she knew I didn't finish it; maybe she just forgot.

But I know this. Whether she left it purposely or not, at least she loves me in her subconsious:)

using a paper clip to sync my ipod

i write on myself with pen and permanent marker not for reminders but because i want someone someday to come up and ask me about it. i wrap scarves around my neck and dress up wearing sweaters acting like a lunatic with teased hair and dancing to music in my bedroom with my sister not for the moment but because i want someday her to look back to our memories when i move away. i change my handwritting constantly not because i think its ugly or too small or too big or there's a prettier way to do it but because someday i hope i can get away with forging a document without any practice. i study hard and read good books that don't always have fictional characters not becuase i enjoy them entirely and always but because someday i hope i can tell someone something they never even thought of before.

**my life?

One of the concepts that most people have a difficult time understanding is that the life they are living is not their own. It's God's. There are no "buts" or "if"'s there. Your life is God's, and it never was, and never will be yours.

I find it amazing that music and the arts are so powerful. Because if it's a famous or catchy song, the lyrics will be stuck in your head, and you may not even notice that lies are being implemented.

It's My Life - Bon Jov

It's my life, it's now or never. I ain't gonna live forever, I just wanna live while I'm alive.

Awake and Alive - Skillet

Now it's my time, I'll do what I want, 'cus this is my life.

This is your life - Switchfoot

This is your life, are you who you want to be? This is your life, is it everything that you dreamed it would be?

Don't Waste Your Life - LaCrae

Don't wanna waste my life, life life. Don't wanna waste my, don't wanna waste my life.

Now, after you realize that this life is not your own, you realize that these songs must be wrong. They all claim their lives. They all take possession.

Now, you may also be saying, "Wait a second. Aren't those last three Christian bands?" Well, yes. Yes they are. Am I saying that they are wrong? ...maybe.

If you look at the entirety of Switchfoot's and LaCrae's songs, it is obvious that that they are taking possession. But look at who they are "taking possession" from. This is different. And you may argue, but I believe that it is.

When Switchfoot claims life, *they are asking the question, "Are you living up to who you want to be? Because you've only got one life, and tomorrow is already gone." They are not stating that one should do whatever they want because it's their life, and no one can tell them what to do. They are not taking possession from God.

LaCrae is *basically saying the same thing. He raps the gospel and sings about how life without Christ is nothing compared to what it could be like with Him. He tries to tell people that living with Christ is so much better than anything else, so much better, in fact, that life without Him looks wasted. He encourages people not to waste their lives, and live with Christ.

The point of these songs are to get people to stop sitting around doing nothing and barely getting by. They don't want people to waste their lives. They don't want people to live a life that isn't what they want it to be.

Now we get to the sticky songs.

The lyrics that I put up for Skillet make it seem like they are taking possession. *But the whole song shows that it is about standing up for one's self, and for one's faith. Skillet is trying to take possession of life from their peers. (I'm at war with the world, and they try to pull me into the dark), (Stand my ground and never back down, I know what I believe inside), and ('Cause I ain't ever gonna sell my soul, I've already made up my mind, no matter what, I can't be bought or sold). The whole song together shows that they are not taking possession from God. They are singing about how their faith is strong, and they cannot be shaken by the storms of life or their peers who try to disuade them.

Bon Jovi is a different kind of possession. He bluntly states that he doesn't believe in an afterlife (I ain't gonna live forever, I just wanna live while I'm alive). Therefore, he is claiming his life from God. He doens't think anyone gave his life to him, so he doesn't think he has to give it back to anyone.

Skillet, Switchfoot, and LaCrae are not trying to take away from God what is his. The lyrics are to motivate people to be their own person, not to succumb to peer pressure, to figure out life and live it to the fullest before it is gone.

*When I say what a song means, this is what I think is true. I could be wrong.

**Thanks to Worldview

but mostly procrastination

I've been off of facebook for a while. And although this is incredebly amazing for a senior trying to raise the grades, it isn't too hot for the communicator. Finding other means of communication has been my specialty this last month. Of which included texting a friend of a friend for that friend's number, actually walking up to the person to talk face to face *gasp! people still do that?!*, and this wonderful thing called email that never goes out of style.

I found that because I wasn't on facebook, there wasn't much of a reason to go on the computer anymore. Well, somedays I would check it quite frequently, but I could go three or four days without using it. And this means that my utopia was put on the back shelf. I am very sorry for ignoring you. So very, very sorry. And I'm not saying that because I'm going back on facebook, I will be blogging more. By no means. That will totally discredit everything I just did. I just remembered my forgotten place. My forgotten no place:)