I like how I learn things

College classes teach you stuff.

I think this is like a fairy tale

But you will never know until the end.








And neither will I.

never been so proud

It was gym time and I collected my girls' nametag necklaces so that they could play without them being in the way. They ran as fast as their four-year-old legs could carry them. Feeling much the minority, I walked over to the wall that they were lined up at prepared to sit next to Jo, the girl that was too afraid to play sharks and minnows and watched from the sidelines with her leader by her side.

From the very first day, she clasped onto my hand and refused to play. It had become a habit.

"Are you sure you don't want to play?" Her tiny rainboots reminded me of the larger ones that I owned back in my room.

"Yes." Contented, but with no smiles we watched. Eventually her hand leaves mine and she folds them in her lap and fidgets with her pink and purple outfit.

The first time this conversation took place, tears were shed before the comfortable silence began. The idea of a shark must have been horrifying.

As the semester wore on, it became ritual to sit on the sidelines. The same question came up with the same response.

Except.

"I...I think I'm going to play it this time." We hold hands against the wall until the game begins. The first hesitant step makes me believe she is planning on taking me with her, but then her grip lessens as she moves away and she leaves me at the wall to run away from the other kids.

Standing with all the other leaders, I can't help but feel a sense of pride. The smile on her face shows no hint of holding back as she reaches the other wall and looks back at me.

You remind me of myself. Don't worry, the fear will go away.

why I smile

-because I get to eat real food next week

-because I get to see my family next week (including cousins!)

-because I get to sleep in my own bed next week

-because I get to go to my home church next week

-because I get to shower with no shoes next week

-because I get to sleep in next week

...just because of next week.

I would like to order one time machine, please.

Set for March 23, 2011

thankyouverymuch

I'm flattered

Honestly, I am. In L'Engles' words, maybe everyone back home was just used to me. And I do enjoy being treated like a lady. Opening the doors are nice, and thanks for saving my coffee and me when I tripped up the stairs in the cafeteria.

But, I can get my own stinking umbrella. I can pay for myself. I don't want to hear you say "don't worry about it". I can handle it, and I want to know what's wrong. I'm not lying when I say I don't want anything. Just because I'm scared doesn't give you an excuse to hold my hand; I back away because I don't want it. I can handle being alone.

There is a fine line between treating women with respect, and treating them like babies.

I held a Bible today.

398 years old. First edition King James Version. It was inspiring.



So I wrote this.

things I didn't know about myself a month ago

-I really, really, really like popcorn

-I'm crazier than I think I am

-I can't read as fast as I thought I could

-My handwriting actually looks good

-I miss being alone

-I miss my family

-I like strange music

-I'm not that different from everyone else

~The Shallows~

-by Nicolas Carr

"But as a device for reading, the book retains some compelling advantages over the computer. You can take a book to the beach without worrying about sand getting in its works. You can take it to bed with you without being nervous about it falling to the floor should you nod off. You can spill coffee on it. You can sit on it. You can put it down on a table, open to the page you're reading, and when you pick it up a few days later it will still be exactly as you left it. You never have to be concerned about plugging a book into an outlet or having its battery die.

You can read a dozen or a hundred printed pages without suffering the eye fatigue that often results from even a brief stretch of online reading. You can flip through real pages much more quickly and flexibly than you can through virtual pages. And you can write notes in a book's margins or highlight passages that move or inspire you. You can even get a book's author to sign its title page. When you're finished with a book, you can use it to fill an empty space on your bookshelf-or lend it to a friend."

attentiveness and sleepiness

Falling asleep at two in the morning can't be good for me. Especially when I wake past noon. I forced myself to wake up at seven this morning just so I would fall asleep tonight. But there's a problem. I'm not falling asleep.

The good in all this? I'm almost completely packed for college tomorrow, I re-ripped all my CDs to my new iTunes, and I'm finding some really good music.

For you I-wanna-get-up-and-dance-ers: here.

For you I-wanna-sip-coffee-outside-ers: here.

For you I-don't-know-who-I-am-ers: here.

Those awkward moments when you're on the sidewalk and you pass someone either walking in the other direction or chillin' in their yard and don't know what to do for the seemingly endless amount of time when riding up to them aren't that awkward anymore.

Just smile.

Unless, it's a boy. Then you have two options. One: stop, turn around, and act like you were meaning to go this way. Or two: smile at the sky, the ground, or anything else.

this is why I don't go to bookstores as much as I would like

[I'm addicted to reading. And when I smell a good book, it's over for my wallet]

At least I'm not in denial.

WARNING: enter hunger games

[click here or you won't understand this post at all] ;)

It doesn't matter if the cup is half empty or half full. It's the fact that it's half and half. Fifty percent good; fifty percent not-so-good, give or take a few.

YES! To Katniss. Yes, yes, yes. So, far, so good. She looked a little glammed up in a previous picture, but as reminded by a fellow friend, all the contestants in the Hunger Games are glammed up. This picture, however, is brilliant.

What?! To Peeta. I was fine with Josh Hutcherson, and I'm still fine with him. All I gotta say is, this had better not be the scene I'm thinking it is. Because he needs a whole lot more mud.

Ehh. To Gale. I'm not happy with this picture, but I'm not upset with it. Just... ehh...

I'm afraid to ask, but, what do you think? Of the pictures, not my obsessions, smarty pants.

[untitled]

Maybe I do worry about what people think of me. Maybe I am scared of the unknown. Maybe I don't know where I'm headed. Maybe I'm not as different from everyone else as I think I am.

~Uncommon Criminals~

-by Ally Carter

It's taking me awhile to write this review mainly because I'm afraid to say I didn't like it. As a book. And this is where it gets difficult to explain.

What's with Paraguay and Uruguay? This is one of the finer points, but it still bugged me. Kat knows the latest model of an elevator but can't remember which country her family is in? She kept on messing it up, so now even I don't know the right country.

It was too predictable. Hale always shows up. And that's great for the romance and all, but I was more interested in the heist this time. I felt like I was watching a chickflick; Ally picked all the right words, but they were the cliche words. Mabye too cliche.

My problem: I fell in love with the characters in Heist Society, but they changed in Uncommon Criminals.

~The Dragonfly Pool~

-by Eva Ibbotson

"...Reichsgruppen Fuehrer Anton Stiefelbreich was fully dressed in a khaki jacket so covered in medals that they dazzled and caught the eye, and afterward people who met him never quite remembered his face."

From the cover: At first Tally doesn't want to go to the boarding school called Delderton. But she soon discovers that it is a wonderful place where freedom and self-expression are valued. After seeing a travelogue about Bergania, Tally wants nothing more than to visit this peaceful and serene European country and catch a glimpse of the noble King Johannes, who bravely refuses to bend to the Nazis' demands. When Tally finds out that the 1939 international folk dancing festival will be held in Bergania, she organizes a ragtag dance troupe so that the school can participate.

It took me a couple times to get through the book, but I'm glad I gave it a third chance. It is definitely not one of my favorites, by Eva or overall, but it was still a good novel. In the midst of the non-fiction that I am currently reading it was a ray of sunlight, I might even say. Re-reading might come later, but I have so much on my to-read list right now, I can't even imagine time to re-read anything.

~Queen by Right~

-by Anne Easter Smith

*I recieved this book through Crazy Book Tours.

Cecily Neville's eldest brother was her mother's favorite, and she, the youngest, was her father's. Born into 15th century Britain, her life as a woman was without a doubt considered less than that of a man. But because of her father's attention in the early years of her life and a strong personality, Cecily is torn between following the rules of noblity and what she was brought up on. Betrothed to a childhood friend at the age of eight, she grows to love her future husband before she is totally sure of what love even is.

The duke of York, Richard Plantagenet, comes into Cecily's life as an orphan. He is looked on as a threat to the king, not only because his late father was a traitor, but also because his claim to the throne is stronger than that of the boy king. Cecily's father treats him like a son, and when he arranges the marriage of his daughter he couldn't have made a better match.

Queen by Right is the story of Cecily Neville and Richard of York as they grow up together, and grow close together. The two of them are born into the Hundred Years War and their journey takes them from England to France and to England again. Richard gains the king's trust, and Cecily gains her husband's.

One of my favorite parts was that of Jeanne d'Arc. Her similarities are not completely recognized by Cecily because their ranks separate them, but the young girl who wore men's clothes is much the same as the Cecily who wore boy's braies as a spoiled daughter of her father's. She sympathizes with Jeanne, but has to hold her tongue in public because she is worried that Jeanne's fate will also fall to her. And holding her tongue is not something that Cecily does particularily well.

From the beginning I was intent on diving into the life of young Cecily. As she grew up I drew away from her character because her life was no longer as relevant to mine. It was wonderfully written, and a few times when I spoke the chapters out loud, the sentences rolled off my tounge in beautiful prose. I enjoyed reading it, but I would recommend it only to older readers because of some of the skipping I had to do. The mix of romance and politics was interesting to unfold, but most of the time I got lost in the family tree. A little background on dukes, earls, and rights to the throne would have made reading the book much easier, but I was still able to understand what was going on.

is it too late to change my mind?

Is it too late to go back on what I said?

This car is speeding up faster than I expected.

But I don't want to step on the brake.

(why did I get myself into this in the first place?)

leftover bookmarks

I've checked The Dragonfly Pool out from the library over two times because I have never finished it (procrastination, revisited). I never get around to reading it, so it's always due before I get the chance. Well, I have it again in my possession, and when I opened it, the pages flipped to somewhere near the middle of the book. A long sheet of paper just hidden by the cover was keeping someone's place, and I can't help but think that that place was mine.

views from a bike

With shoes on my feet, and feet on my pedals, I headed out on a newly possessed green bike. A lightning bug caught a ride on my headphones, and we took a ride together; past fathers and sons playing catch in the front yard and a humurous view of a dog wearing swimming goggles.

I love summer. Repeat; I love summer.

~Twenty Boy Summer~

-by Sarah Ockler

Honestly, I would have given this book a four out of five if it wasn't for a lot of the things that Ockler talked about. The writing was fantastic; it was beyond awesome. The way the sentences flowed together and the idea was seamlessly portrayed. The thing is, I have a huge problem with those ideas. If it hadn't been for the underage drinking, the backstabbing friendships, the secret keeping, and talking of one's virginity as an obstacle and something to just throw away, it might have been a decent book. That, and rating it PG-14, I will not be re-reading it, and won't be recommending it to anyone - especially the younguns.

~The Murder of Roger Ackroyd~

-by Agatha Christie

It has been two weeks since I have posted, and in that amount of time, the aforementioned chickies outside the window have died, I have broken my phone, and life has become a whole lot more interesting now that summer is here and my senior year is in the past. I'm struggling here to keep up with posting regularly, and just when I thought I would be good at keeping it up, I fall down once again. But whenever I start reading other posts on my google reader, I am once again encouraged to start writing reviews and thoughts and stuff of that nature. So, on with it!

I consider myself an Agatha Christie fan. I haven't read near enough of her books to officially name myself, but every book is a surprise and I there is something about the way she writes the murder mysteries that makes me want to drop one as soon as it is finished and run to the library or bookstore or whichever is closest to grab ahold of another.

The Murder of Roger Ackroyd is a hard book to review, because there as so many things I could say that would give away the ending, and all of the things that I could say are necessary for understanding the cleverness of Christie. I hate to say it, but I think I have to, because there isn't much more I can do.

You have to read it for yourself to find out.

a view from the window

Mommy and Daddy

Hatched on May 15, 2011

because I'm getting back on track

What is this? Three days in a row? My goodness, what happened to your best friend, procrastination?

Hopefully, he has taken a long vacation because he's smelly and really picky and just darn annoying. I can handle it without him.

Hey, summer is basically here, and that means the end of due dates. So yes, I am getting back on track.

~Entwined~

-by Heather Dixon

I just found out recently that I love fairy tales; I love happily ever afters. Call it cheesy or boring, but when everything works out at the end, it makes it that much better of a book.

Entwined was a fairy tale that I loved from the start, and as I moved throughout the pages, my enjoyment didn't grow, but stayed at a steady pace. It's not one that will be going on my favorite-books-of-all-time list, but it was still a refreshing piece to read. Not all books have to be your favorite. Wthout the mediocre ones, your favorites wouldn't be so spectacular.

So yes, go ahead and read it. And sometimes you may laugh at the predictability of it, and sometimes you will call it cheesy, but in the end, you will like it. That is, if you like happily ever afters.

I know I'm not the only one

dreaming of running barefoot through the thick grass and the driveways and the sidewalks - and sitting on the floor cleaning the dirt and grass stains off my soles.

dreaming of feeling the sun's rays across my back and shoulders and arms - and sitting on the floor putting on more aloe.

dreaming of licking and slurping ice-cream after popcicle after ice-cream - and sitting on the floor trying to rub out the stains from the melting deserts from my most-favorite skirt.

dreaming of picking dandilions and lilies and violets - and sitting on the floor itching and scratching because I don't know a thing about flowers and might have grabbed something green and leafy that I wasn't supposed to pick.

dreaming of reading book after book after glorious book - and sitting on the floor trying to catch up on sleep. (I hope you catch that this one was a stretch. Just bare with me here. You're almost to the end.)

dreaming of playing for seemingly endless hours of frisbee and soccer and, well, anything else we can find in the garage.

dreaming of summer. The tubing and camps and cousins, all meshed into that one word that when spoken, students in classrooms turn their heads swiftly to the windows, and in unison let out a sigh that is understood by all.

p.s. ten days

I miss stepping out from the library with an armful of books, deciding which to read first on the trip home

Now I have to pay attention to my driving.

~Inkheart~

-by Cornelia Funke

Truly, truly a great story. The idea was fresh to me, and it was very easy to get into. But that was about it; once I was in it, it felt like it was dragging on for a long time.

It feels horrible to say it, but I honestly wanted it to just end so I could be done with it, and I've never felt that way about a book before. Don't take this the wrong way, the characters were wonderful and I loved the plot line, but it took forever for things to get going and happen.

The plus side to such a long book is the descriptions. They were good, if not a little drawn-out. I probably won't be looking to this book again for a re-read, but it was nice to read about someone who enjoys reading, and actually lived out an adventure inside and outside of her books.

a lack of words

I seriously thought I would get back to posting more consistently. And I have the time now, I just don't have anything to post about. So, if you want to hear anything from me, let me know.

those moments when it just breaks your heart

father of the bride scene. The first minute of the clip.

dancing and spinning and looking like a fool

Well, hello there. Haven't seen you in awhile.

This is going to be one of those infamous "uptade" posts that I personally don't like reading; but somehow I feel it is necessary due to my most unexplained absence.

I can't say anything interesting has been going on. My room has turned purple, I have turned 18, and I survived that blizzard that had everyone talking. Other than that, things have pretty much stayed the same, and I can't complain.

Oh, but there is something else. I certainly did read a lot. Wanna hear it? Too bad, I'm putting them down anyway!

Scumble by Ingrid Law: 4 out of 5

You Were Made to Make a Difference by Max Lucado: 2 out of 5

Trouble by Gary D. Schmidt: 5 out of 5

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by J.K. Rowling: 4 out of 5

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling: 3 out of 5

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling: 4 out of 5

Hope Was Here by Joan Bauer: 4 out of 5

The Year the Swallows Came Early by Kathryn Fitzmaurice: 3 out of 5

Crazy Love by Francis Chan: 3 out of 5

Mara, Daughther of the Nile by Eloise Jarvis McGraw: 5 out of 5

Cry, the Beloved Country by Alan Paton: 3 out of 5

Coffeehouse Angel by Suzanne Selfors: 3 out of 5

A Curse Dark as Gold by Elizabeth C. Bunce: 3 out of 5

Candor by Pam Bachorz: 4 out of 5

When You Reach Me by Rebecca Stead: 3 out of 5

A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle: 4 out of 5

Any Which Wall by Laurel Snyder: 4 out of 5

The Magician's Nephew by C.S. Lewis: 4 out of 5

Walking with God by John Elderge: 2 out of 5