qualifying the called

I feel unqualified and spoiled.

A typical American girl who was given everything as a child.

Taking, taking, taking.

Only thinking of myself.

I want it to stop.
--
But I am different, am I not?

Showing no disrespect to my parents (most of the time).

And yes I make mistakes, but at least I feel remorse.

Learning to love without wanting anything in return.

Trying to be a better person, but not because I think it will save me.

Or maybe that is just my problem. Just trying.
--
I am making something of my life, not just taking.

I am giving as much as I can, and possibly more.

I am completely surrendered, and I have never felt more free.

~Murder on the Orient Express~

-by Agatha Christie

Well, would you look at that! I actually finished a book.

And a great one at that. My motivation for reading more of Christie is now directed toward my fascination of the twists and turns in her stories. When will she run out of tricks? I will continue to read these mysteries until I can detect the killer on my own and not wait until the last two pages of the book to find out. It just dumbfounds me how she does it. Or maybe I am not as bright as I thought I was.

I have this theory

It has to do with the proportion of time you are alive relative to the time in the context of question. As you get older, you have obviously lived longer. Therefore, a year becomes smaller and smaller relative to what you have already lived. A newborn's day consists of half of their life, while a year for me is 1/19 of my life. In short, time only speeds up. It is basically mathematical.