Yes, I didn't sleep again. No, I'm actually sane.

But I am very, very, Hungry.

After the first Hunger Games, I was excited to read the second, but was a little scared that I would be disappointed. You are probably expecting me to say that I wasn't, but it is much more than that.

I was completely, thoroughly, and utterly stripped of any control.

--

It was late and I picked up Catching Fire.

Such a poor move.

My heart was already held in her hand when I opened the book, and her fist was closing. Slowly applying the pressure as I read further and further. I wanted the happy ending so bad. Just this once, please. She has other plans.

I remember it being seven and hearing my sisters leave for school as I read on.

I wake up slowly and find the book closed on my pillow, me obviously too tired to leave it open. I find the page I left off on, an hour and a half ago when I slipped into sleep, and finished it.

By the time I close the book, she has crushed it - my heart in pieces in her palm. But I felt it much deeper. This time I close the book on purpose. I walk down the stairs, holding it. I enter my sister's room.

I mean to throw it on her bed, make it crash onto the floor leaving the pages open, as dramatic as I could possibly make it. But a merely toss it on the blankets, unable to hurt it. I run back into my room, climb into the sheets and pull them over my head. I want to cry, but no tears come to my eyes. I'm guessing it's the lack of sleep that keep them from me.

After about ten minutes, I go downstairs and back into her room. We talk. I am not sure how I feel about the book yet...

We talk about the third book, and when does it come out? She searches and finds stuff about 'a movie!' I am elated for a while. Then I remember how horrible movies turn books into. 'But wait!', Suzanne Collins is writing the screenplay. Maybe there is hope...

We search the site for awhile, the depression that I had sunk into the ten minutes ago was disappearing, fading from my memory.

There was a video from youtube on the sidebar of the site. It was called Rue's lullaby, and we listened to it. The first thing that hit me wasn't that the song was beautiful; it was a hundred times better than when I read it in the book, now hearing it to music.

The first thing that I notice is the music. The first notes ring into my ears and I lose it. The tears that wouldn't come when I was hiding in my bed started to show as my eyes water, and a few fall on my cheeks. The song that they put the lyrics too was Kiss the Rain by Yiruma. I was learning to play it on the piano, and hearing it now to the words that had no tune before hit that string inside of me that stays completely still.

They went together absolutely perfectly.

Now I don't think I will ever be able to play that song again without breaking into tears.


I know I'm obsessed and all but I really think I almost became Katniss for those 12 hours. I felt everything that she felt, from the brief happiness and joy to the heartbreak and loss.

I am not going to read anything for a week now because it will be unfair to any book that I will read after this. I will definitely hate it.

~Hunger Games~

-by Suzanne Collins

I don't know about any of you, but literary crushes are ruining my life. The great thing is, when you are reading a book, the character can look anyway you want. Of course, sometimes there are specifics like blonde hair and blue eyes, but other than that, you are free to imagine him however you would like. Oh sorry, or her.

Even when they mess up or fall, they do it gracefully. :)

I didn't realize it until I finished the second book, but they are making Hunger Games into a movie! I'm just worried that they will ruin it-like every other good book that gets turned into a movie.

Just remember: real men bake cakes.

Chapter One - The Tracker

Okay, this is the first chapter of my story. I don't know what I'm going to call it yet or anything, and I don't know how long it will take to finish the rest of the chapters, but I'm working on it. Tell me what you think!

I practically flew down the stairs. No one was looking - surprisingly, since it was the last day of school. But, I was using the old, dirty stairs. The path less traveled by. I had to get out quickly. The last day of school meant the first day of summer. And, the first day of summer meant that my test had begun.

--

I wasn't too obvious. I slowed my pace after the first block. I looked over my shoulder as I turned corners. I used reflectors wherever I could find them to look behind me rather than turn around. I was being careful; I was out of practice. And, although my senses were tingling, and there was a new found spring in my step, I knew that cockiness meant miscalculations. Miscalculations meant misconceptions. Misconceptions meant mistakes. And, mistakes mean death.

I had prepared for today this morning. I chose my black leather jacket to wear over my black tank instead of the soft blue one. I wore my skinny jeans that stayed close to my calves instead of my flares. I put on my converse with the comfy socks instead of flip flops. I threw my straight hair into a high pony tail and wore a thick stretchy band around my head to keep my bangs from falling in my eyes instead of curling it and letting it fall over my shoulders. But, I wore the thick eyeliner and mascara just for show. It’s more intimidating.

Of course, I had packed the necessities. Two were in the inside pockets of my jacket. The big one was in the bushes. You could get in trouble for bringing that to school. I smiled as I turned the last corner to my makeshift headquarters. My teammates were Me, Myself, and I. I looked over my shoulder one last time as I reached down and picked up my biggest gun from the shrubbery. It wasn’t well hidden, but as everyone knows, the best place for something to hide is in plain sight.

I was slightly out of breath by the time I reached my house. I needed something to eat, and McDonald's was simply not going to cut it. I ran in through the side door, and walked up the steps inside. It opened into a large, clean, white kitchen, and I opened the refrigerator to find all the fruits and veggies laid out on the middle shelf. I took an apple and washed it at the sink. I cut it in half skillfully. Knifes didn’t scare me anymore.

I longed for the day I could once again bite into an apple. Unfortunately, braces don’t appreciate apple gunk. Or, anything else, basically. I started chewing when Sandra came in through the other door.

“First day?” she guessed, asking warily. She had seen me in action. And, she was a small, shy girl. The broom she was holding was put into the closet next to the refrigerator.

“Yeah,” I replied briefly as I threw the core from one half in the trash and began on the other.

“Well, good luck.” She was more comfortable now, seeing that I wasn’t in a mood. This is just a test. A practice. Nothing serious, I said to calm myself down. I wasn’t shaking or anything, but I was getting jittery.

“Thanks. I’m gunna need it.” Actually, I didn’t. These were amateurs I was dealing with, and I did my research.

I left with another toss into the garbage. I grabbed my satchel and stuck another apple in one of the inside pockets with my gun. You never knew how long you would have to go without food.

Relax, I told myself. Remember, they are amateurs. Don’t be too hard on them. They won’t even take it seriously. Crush them softly, I thought with a smile. I jumped on my bike. The handlebars were wide, and I had slung my satchel into the basket in the front as I began my descent down the driveway. Just get them, get out, and move on.

It would take about half an hour to get there on foot, so I decided on the bike. It would cut time in half, and it wouldn’t be as loud as my rusty red truck, as eye-catching as my yellow convertible, or as slow as walking.

I took a weaving path to get to my Target’s house. I had contemplated on my attack plan the night before. I didn’t want to try something too complicated - word would get out soon enough, and I didn’t need any of that. I would start simply; no fancy maneuvers.

My bike was in good condition, and so was I. I pedaled down the main street, and took a right. The trees from the canopy above me were creating shadows that danced along the paved road. The houses weren’t too fancy, but there was a certain class about them. I knew my Target got off the bus seven minutes after three. Sometimes the bus was a few minutes late, but I found the school’s bus system was quite efficient.

I wanted to get to her house by 2:50. Time for me to calm down and plan my attack - again. It was about 2:40, and I scolded myself for forgetting my watch. I was making good time, though.

As I rounded the corner, I looked over my shoulder once again. I caught a glimpse of a figure walking in the direction I was. I continued unfazed, but my guard did not go down. He was a Tracker.

The next time I looked behind me I pedaled slower and altered my path to throw him off. He had to be a Tracker. We continued for a while, every once in a while, I’d look back again. I’ll admit it, though, he was good. He never looked at me…or I never saw him look at me. His gaze was always on a passing car, or the houses that lined the street. It looked like he was walking aimlessly, but somehow he was gaining on me; probably jogging faster when my back was turned.

He only tripped up once, and I was lucky to see it. I turned and I could see part of his gun through his jacket. After my suspicions were confirmed, I put myself on the defence; there was no way I could get my Target and fend off a Tracker at the same time, especially out of training.

I had been in this part of the neighborhood many times before. I needed to study my Target, and I had found a rather large section of land that was occupied by a thick grove of trees. I usually ate lunch there when doing my research and my Target left. Sometimes research gets boring, even when it’s alive and breathing.

I guided my bike to the woods while peddling faster, trying to get to the cover of the trees. I look behind me and saw that my Tracker started running when I picked up the pace. I stood up on my bike, letting it glide as I swung my right leg over the seat so I was standing on one side. The trees grew nearer, and the paved road was starting to end. I lowered my left foot to slow down my bike, and pulled the brakes slightly. I was starting to slow down, but my sudden quickening of pace before had put much distance between me and my Tracker. I hopped off my bike and grabbed my satchel out of the basket as I guided the bike to lie against a tree. I put the bag over my shoulder and started to look for my gun, feeling stupid for not having it ready before.

Soon enough I realize I cannot get to it in time; he reached the point that I had started to slow down at, and had quickened into a sprint. Maybe he isn’t an amateur, I thought to myself. You don’t see that much enthusiasm during these times. I give up on finding my gun and start running through the woods, dodging the trees that come up out of nowhere.

I think that I am distancing myself from him, but when I look back briefly, he is weaving through the thickest parts quicker than I could do it myself. Yeah, definitely not an amateur. I pick up the pace a little, and my hand starts to search for my gun again in my bag. I find it, and with a smile I bring it up to my chest. I promised myself not to use my big one until the end, but he was actually good, and the bigger one would be more reliable.

He was closing in, and I was prepared to turn around and shoot when I heard him loading his gun. Maybe I wouldn’t be able to hear his long speech. I load mine as well, and start to shoot behind me. I miss horribly, and I see him duck out of the way. The next second, he is aimed at me and prepared to shoot. I turn around and I think that I am finally going to be able to get a better look at him, but he stops running and I hide behind a big tree that I took as an oak. I look around the tree and see that he is having difficulties with his gun. He shoots it at the ground, but nothing happens.

I wait for a little to see if he had a back-up, but he continues to struggle with it, banging this time with his wrist. He looks up at me as I lean from behind the oak. I was about a hundred yards away, and the first thing I notice was his piercing blue eyes. They show fear, and a smile creeps over my face as a hunter would do when his prey is trapped. Of course, I was the prey a second ago, but in this crazy world, anything can happen.

“Having a little trouble?” I ask slyly as I load my gun for a second time. I step out from behind the tree and stand with my feet a shoulder width apart.

"Jus’ a minor problem.” He responds, clearly trying not to show the fear that had already been exposed.

“Should I wait?” I smile again, and he knows that I won’t. He drops his gun on the ground, obviously fed up with it. He raises his hands in surrender, and I walk closer slowly, my gun not fully extended.

“Fine,” he says, “I never wanted to do this anyway.” He was wearing khaki shorts and a grey faded hoodie, an odd choice for the last day of school. “Jus’ get it over with.” He stares me down, trying to find pity in my cold heart. Obviously, he doesn’t know how many I have killed.

“I will.” I continue to step closer, increasing the suspense. I love to watch them squirm. But, he was actually playing along. It was getting fun.

After a few seconds of suspense, he breaks the silence. “Are you going to shoot me, or not?” He wasn’t really upset, and I could see his smile starting to show.

“I will,” I say again. This gets him more annoyed. “You’re a good runner.” My compliment does nothing to faze him. By that time I was standing in front of him, gun fully extended; loaded.

“Yeah. And you’re good at working the suspense.” His answer was sarcastic, but I could still see the smile. “Just shoot me.” His head lowers a bit. ”You know, we’re gunna have to go through this again tomorr-“ I raise the gun to his face and he stops talking. He lowers his head all the way now, and I prepare to shoot.

“Yeah, but I take it seriously.” I was almost mad. Everyone thought it was a joke.

“I take it seriously too,” he said, talking to the ground. “I’m just pointing that out.” His hands were at his sides now, no longer in the air in the sign of surrender. I smiled a little, but it was not a sneer.

“Well, let’s see how seriously you take this.” I pull the trigger and his head gets soaked immediately. He falls to the ground, and I laugh at how seriously he did take it. He chuckles on the ground, and I lean down to his level. “You didn’t have to fall,” I said, the laughter still escaping me. The arm that was holding my water gun fell to my side.

“Well, you didn’t think I was serious,” he said quietly, still laughing. “Now go away, I’m dead,” he said with a smirk. I continue to laugh as I walk my way back out of the woods. Maybe there was someone who was going to take it seriously after all. I was still smiling when I turn around to look at him again, lying in the dirt.

“See you tomorrow,” I yell, but the dead man stays quiet.

The next time I turn around, he is gone.

~Through the Looking Glass~

-by Lewis Carrol

Even though these two books are meant for kids, they confuse me like crazy.

"Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic."

Now read it again, and think about it until you get it.

'Cause I surely don't.

I must say, though, that I liked the first book better. I didn't even know there was a second until about last year! And, in Disney's old cartoon movie, parts from both books are in it. Like the Un-birthday, and Tweedledee and Tweedledum. I never knew that.

I also hear that the new movie is a mix of the two as well. I just have to see it now...

~Leepike Ridge~

-by N. D. Wilson

Let the yelling begin.

Okay, now stop.

I remember getting scolded by someone for not reading this book yet. And, just the other day when I was talking to my cousin, I told her how I was in the middle of it. She was shocked that I had never picked it up before. So yes, I was expecting some thing spectacular about it. I was expecting the creepiness that was put into the 100 cupboards. And, the weird funky creatures. But, it wasn't what I expected. It wasn't that scary, as my sister had told me it would be, but maybe that is just my desensitization showing itself.

The night that I had finished it, I was supposed to be studying for finals, but hey, the converse on the cover are awesome! And, my school stuff is so, not. I was about three quarters of the way through, and it was just English and Chem. A.K.A. the easier finals. Well, I got done around eleven feeling satisfied, but not quite as excited about it as 100 Cupboards. Maybe I would have liked it better if I read it before the cupboards, but that is in the past.

My favorite character would be Argus. In the beginning, I thought the dog was called two different names because sometimes he was "Argus", and sometimes he was called, "Gus". What can I say? I'm blonde! But, as soon as I figured that out, I gave up thinking that the dog was schizophrenic. Seriously, I thought that was part of it until they meet Reg. Then, everything clears up in this jumbled head of mine.

I have no clue where N.D. Wilson gets his ideas, but he certainly is great at making up plots. I have yet to read the second book in the 100 Cupboards series, but I will finish it. :)

my first broken guitar string

I want to get a Polaroid this summer. They make me happy for some reason. :)

It just makes me happy thinking about summer. I only have two days left; half days, at that.

I am starting to create a list of all the things that I want to do during the two months of freedom. And, I have the list of the fiction books I plan on finishing!

The Hunger Games (started already)
Criss Cross (still on hold at the library)
A Curse Dark as Gold
Leepike Ridge (started already)
Only the Good Spy Young *(and a re-read of the previous three with my cousin!)
Where the Red Fern Grows (yeah, I know.)
A Wrinkle in Time

I know that I will probably read more fiction, but the last time I made a goal of reading a bunch of books, it never got finished. So as soon as I finish these, I will create another list.

And, I will be on a schedule the entire time this summer so I don't waste any minute.

Oh, and just because I wanted to clarify the post title, I did break my guitar string, and I am having difficulty because I have a great idea for another song, but my E and Em sound the same! Ha ha, I am going to the store this week though to get all new strings and a better capo, so it will all be good soon. :)

*Listening to Only Hope. The Mandy Moore version, though. Not Switchfoot. Sorry, but I like that one better. :/

the most sophisticated post ever created.

okayokayokay.

SOOOO. :/

yesterday I went to hang with my friend and eat some ICE CREAM! I had chocolate and it was delicious! It was creamy and wonderful!

Then I went to pick up Christy and we went to her house to pick up her stuffffffff. her stufffffffff. We got her sleeping bag and alllllllll the other stuff that sheeeeee needed. :)

THEN, we went to my house and GOT alllllllllll of MY stufffffff. HEHE. Then we went to church. I brought some BROWNIES!

:-)

We WENT to church! church...... :)

We stayed there to play someeeee volleyball. some volleyball.

I had some pizzzza. I had some sodaaaaaaaaaa. We watched a videooooooo. (aprox. 11:00 PM)

THEN we played a gameeeeeeeee. A good game. A fun game. :) HEHE. A fun game.

A fun game.

(about this time, you are probably thinking that someone has hacked onto my computer - no worries. This is me. Just keep on reading and you will understand...)

Then we sang some WONDERFUL songs... mhhhmmhmmhmmmmmm...

mhmmmmm.

mhmmhmhm.

dflaksdl;jkawbhe.

blah blah.

OH HELLO. YOU ARE STILL THERE?!

hi. hi. fishy fishy fishyfishyfishy.

hehe.

squishy. mushy. BBAAAHAHAH... BAA. sheep.

HOLD ON!

what was i saying?

ohhhhh. we sang songs. and songs. and songssssssss. :) (approx. 3:00 AM)

Then we ate some pizzzzza. then we ate some sodaaaaaa.

WAIT! YOU DONT EAT SODA! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA.

*i just hit my head.

(ouch.)

thennnn we played ANOTHER GAME!! AND ATE MORE PIZZA!! AND ATE ooooooohh DRANK more sodaaaaaaa.. (approx. 5:34 AM) hehe see what i did there?!

uhhhhhh.

sdkf;ajkhg.

we sang some songs. mhmm.

yum.

(my teeth are chattering.)

sqquierl.

HAHA.

HA.

THEN we talked for a LITTTLEEEE bit.

HAHA JK LIKE A LONG TIME! MY BFFF LOL <3 :) ;)

then we started to go home!

IT IS 8 now, and I HAVE NOT SLEPT YET!!

(and I am staring at my Amp) :o)

~Do Hard Things~

-by Alex and Brett Harris

My sister first recommended this book to me about a year ago...but I can't remember exactly. I put it off and put it off. Just recently, I got a copy of their sequel, Start Here, knowing that I would have to read the first, but taking the second ahead of time. Start Here is still sitting there unread, but I am to deal with that problem soon enough.

First of all, even though it is non-fiction, I was surprised to find that it read like a novel; every page was eagerly turned over.

The thing that gets me most psyched is that everything that I had been thinking about before was being put into words right before my eyes. I had previously mentioned in a different post that I was going to leave the public school and go back home to be home-schooled and learn at a faster pace. Unfortunately, our public school does not allow anyone to play sports for their school unless they are a full-time student.

That means me. And that means I cannot play golf unless I stay. So I have to stay. But I am planning on graduating early in December, getting a job during my "second semester", and learning on my own during my free time. That way, I get the "best of both worlds".

But, back to the book. One of my favorite parts is the Myth of Adolescence. Did you know that before 1941, the word teenager never existed? A term that has probably has caused many stereotypes to start swimming around in your head. It has such a negative connotation, and personally, it disgusts me.

I don't want to be someone caught in between childhood and adulthood. I want to grow up. This verse is often quoted in the book:
"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me." - 1 Corinthians 13:11 NIV
There should be no time in between to goof off and kid around. We are meant to man up (or woman up) and face the world. We need to do something with our lives before it is too late. We need to join the rebellion against low expectations and set higher ones for ourselves.

I have much more to say, but I am leaving that to a future, more planned out post... :)

i hate feeling like this.

I don't know why. Maybe it's the musical riff in the beginning. Yeah, that's it. And the middle. And the end. Pretty much. Yeah.

here.

I got home from school as usual: hungry.

I looked in the refrigerator ready to settle for measly leftovers or an apple that had an occasional bruise: nope.

My recently returned sister walked out of her room as I declared I was going to make brownies. My plan was to include chocolate chips that melted on the top, but we were void of brownie boxes.

I figured on making a peach pie, and was in the process of, until my wise mother came home and pointed out the can I was planning on using for the filling was just peaches, not the filling kind. So I took the easy way out and settled on cherries. Not what I wanted - but hey, cherries are good too.

And the only reason why a person makes extra pie crust dough:











:)

But enough of that.

temporary

I have decided that the pink is too much.

I am in the middle of searching for a new template, so the current one is only temporary.

As soon as I figure out how to work these html codes...

Mother's Day pictures (which are not of mothers...)

I am going to cheat.

The first picture is from awhile ago. Sometime back in March.

Now that I have that over with...
This one is from today:

My grandma's mums:

And my mother's mums:


I love you momma, and happy mother's day!
<3

when my heart stopped yesterday

Immediately after the last school bell rang, I left my class and headed up the stairs to the commons (cafeteria). There is always a meeting there after school on Fridays, and I was going. The meetings are strictly mandatory, and extremely boring.

I sat on one of the far lunch tables, away from the bulk of eager overachievers, and waited for the meeting to be called to order. After a few less important announcements, the officer for "community service" came up to the podium.

She read off a list of opportunities for over the summer, and their dates and times; my head was slipping down into my cradled arms.

She read, "...and July 27th. It's a Tuesday and it starts at seven o'clock in the -." Until someone cut her off.

"It's a Sunday." One of the kids in the middle tables said loudly. (Let's call him Zach) ;)

The officer looked questionably at the student who stopped her and quickly had another officer check a calender, which confirmed his correction. Then she went on with her list... the long list...

At the end (and five minutes later), she reiterated dates, and said, "Tuesday, July 27th, 7 o'clock -."

"It's a Sunday, not a Tuesday!" Zach raised his voice again. I perked up a little.

The community service officer asked what I was thinking, "How did you know that?" She questioned, as a few of the students started giggling at Zach's preciseness.

He didn't hesitate. He didn't move his head. He didn't even miss a step.

"Because I'm a spy."

My eyes grew huge. I sat up straight. I turned to get a good look at the student. I searched the laughing students in the cafeteria. I was the only one in two hundred people who knew what was going on.

But...maybe he didn't even know what he was talking about. Maybe it was a coincidence. Maybe he never heard of the name "Ally Carter". All I knew was, right then and there, he just crossed the line.

I searched him, waiting for him to give an explanation. None came. He sat in silence, no one believing what he just said. I didn't either, but I did thought that maybe a male specimen could pick up the pretty cover, however unlikely that was. The officer continued on.

Obviously, I need to change his name to Preston.

Nevermind, I want fire.

The table was all set with a blue flower table cloth and candles of all sizes and colors. We had a casserole that had the perfect amount of cheese (a lot). :) All because my sister had come home today!

But, after we ate and cleaned up the kitchen, the candles were still on the counter, not lit. I took the lighter and lit the short white one. And I changed my mind.


When asked the question: 'What super power would you want?', I always said 'to be able to fly'.

It would be cool. To fly, that is. You could get places faster. Not to mention it would be like living in 4-D, because now you can go UP.

But I changed my mind. I want the power of fire.