Yes, I didn't sleep again. No, I'm actually sane.

But I am very, very, Hungry.

After the first Hunger Games, I was excited to read the second, but was a little scared that I would be disappointed. You are probably expecting me to say that I wasn't, but it is much more than that.

I was completely, thoroughly, and utterly stripped of any control.

--

It was late and I picked up Catching Fire.

Such a poor move.

My heart was already held in her hand when I opened the book, and her fist was closing. Slowly applying the pressure as I read further and further. I wanted the happy ending so bad. Just this once, please. She has other plans.

I remember it being seven and hearing my sisters leave for school as I read on.

I wake up slowly and find the book closed on my pillow, me obviously too tired to leave it open. I find the page I left off on, an hour and a half ago when I slipped into sleep, and finished it.

By the time I close the book, she has crushed it - my heart in pieces in her palm. But I felt it much deeper. This time I close the book on purpose. I walk down the stairs, holding it. I enter my sister's room.

I mean to throw it on her bed, make it crash onto the floor leaving the pages open, as dramatic as I could possibly make it. But a merely toss it on the blankets, unable to hurt it. I run back into my room, climb into the sheets and pull them over my head. I want to cry, but no tears come to my eyes. I'm guessing it's the lack of sleep that keep them from me.

After about ten minutes, I go downstairs and back into her room. We talk. I am not sure how I feel about the book yet...

We talk about the third book, and when does it come out? She searches and finds stuff about 'a movie!' I am elated for a while. Then I remember how horrible movies turn books into. 'But wait!', Suzanne Collins is writing the screenplay. Maybe there is hope...

We search the site for awhile, the depression that I had sunk into the ten minutes ago was disappearing, fading from my memory.

There was a video from youtube on the sidebar of the site. It was called Rue's lullaby, and we listened to it. The first thing that hit me wasn't that the song was beautiful; it was a hundred times better than when I read it in the book, now hearing it to music.

The first thing that I notice is the music. The first notes ring into my ears and I lose it. The tears that wouldn't come when I was hiding in my bed started to show as my eyes water, and a few fall on my cheeks. The song that they put the lyrics too was Kiss the Rain by Yiruma. I was learning to play it on the piano, and hearing it now to the words that had no tune before hit that string inside of me that stays completely still.

They went together absolutely perfectly.

Now I don't think I will ever be able to play that song again without breaking into tears.


I know I'm obsessed and all but I really think I almost became Katniss for those 12 hours. I felt everything that she felt, from the brief happiness and joy to the heartbreak and loss.

I am not going to read anything for a week now because it will be unfair to any book that I will read after this. I will definitely hate it.