living for deadlines

I'm just going to come out and say it: I have a procrastination problem. I wait until the last minute, and then finish things frantically. Sometimes (speaking on homework) things turn out fine, and I get by with nothing but bruises. Other times I get cut and have C's staring me down.

More recently, I've been thinking about this problem. And I figured something out. Procrastination is just a fancy work for Laziness. It sounds nicer, and more like a condition rather than a habit. Something that needs to be cured and treated, rather than something that could just be kicked to the curb. And I plan on kicking it to the curb. No slow withdrawal. I'm just going to rip the band-aide off. It will sting at first, but hopefully - scratch that - it will prove to be for the better.

I used to have this motto, or saying, or whatever you call it: "Procrastinators have more fun." I realized that in the long run, they don't. Everything gets messed up when you wait until the last minute.

Switchfoot speaks my thoughts:

Last week found me living for nothing but deadlines,
With my dead beat sky but, this town doesn't look the same tonight,
These dreams started singing to me out of nowhere,
And in all my life I don't know that I ever felt so alive,
Alive.

...

I want to wake up kicking and screaming,
I want to wake up kicking and screaming,
I want to know that my heart's still beating,
It's beating,
I'm bleeding.

-Awakening

This summer has been very, well, awakening. I feel alive. And I don't want to loose this feeling.

I planned on making this summer the best summer of my life. Now, I plan on making this school year the best year of my life.